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F.L.U.F.F.Y.
Feline Life form Utilizing Fur for Friendliness & Yelling
- CPU: 1× Feline Neural Engine
- Clock speed: 1.2–3.4 purrs per second
- RAM: Selective (high capacity for snack-related data; low capacity for “no” commands)
- Audio Output: Meow v3 (modes include: hungry, annoyed, existential, 3AM opera)
- Haptic Feedback: Soft paw-taps, surprise scratches
- Optical Sensor: Dual 4K Night-Vision Cameras
- Touch Sensors: Entire surface area, highly sensitive
- Smell Processing Unit: Ultra-wide bandwidth (tuna-optimized)
Furr-quently Asked Questions
Yes. And the instructions are immediately ignored by the cat. You may refer to them, but the cat will not.
Cats automatically upgrade themselves via firmware naps. Patch notes are never provided.
Fully expected behavior. This feature is called “Priority Override,” allowing the cat to place itself above all user tasks.
No, but it comes with a built-in random number generator that affects movement patterns.
Only in the sense that it believes all space is personal space—specifically, its own.
No, this is standard performance. Cats operate on the Random Activity Protocol—burst activity surrounded by hours of passive charging.
The Cat-alog
Peaches.